%CELEBRATE

& then it hit me. i realized you were there all along.

she is the one and only susie ryuu. susie ryuu also likes to go by the name suse, or ryuumonster. she enjoys pleasant walks in the summertime and loves walking through snow in the winter. love her, and she'll love you back just the same. susie ryuu enjoys playing the piano and the guitar, sometimes jamming with friends. she loves dinosaurs. & her friends. friends more than dinosaurs? maybe. well known fact; susie ryuu cannot watch scary movies without crying. she also loves to talk in third person. to the right: entries ; click entries for my blog posts (: / tagboard ; click tagboard for.. my tagboard :3 under construction atm >< / others ; click others for my other blog posts , starting from november till now , as well as some of my other friends' blogs~ / have fun stalking me.

11:23 PM

Thursday, December 31, 2009

MY DADDY WANTED HIS NAME ON MY BLOG

congrats , ...
to myself . i've made it . i deserve a huge pat on the back ^^ kay so
ITS 2010 :D start of a new decade , oh maann i'm excited . but i'm not willing to start fresh all over again , and because its another decade it doesn't make me feel better , it makes me wanna work harder . just becos its another decade ; x) 2010 , you aren't special ..? >:I

new years resolutions ? just to be more of an open person and to eat less LOOL , its always like that , each year >< but i have to try harder this year . .. its like that every year too .. i fail . GRAAWR enough with the resolutions . they make my head hurt D: so basically , i can't sleep . yknow its only 1am , & tbh i sleep at like 4 . but i'm really tired today but too many things to think about .. so i can't . (rofl insert emo thoughts here)

i dont know how this is going to work out for me . i feel used , i feel manipulated , i feel played with . (get rid of dirty thoughts here .) in all seriousness lulz . it feels like he's using me . it feels like he thinks of me as merely something to make him laugh once in a while , if that makes any sense ? to make things shorter . i dont like what i'm feeling from him . but he brings me in . closer , and i can't help but fall for it every single time .. he's too much to handle , but i can't back away from the feeling , i just can't . he's intoxicating . & lmfao , i'm still a tiny tot , what do i know ? but for now , i know enough to say that this feeling's gonna stay . for a long while , at the least . i dont like this .

sometimes i wish everything was back to the way it was ;
simple . care-free .

i'm just planning on not telling him . with his attitude , if i did and even if he returned the favour . he would still confront me with all he has . i dont even know why i fell so quickly ,

i dont like this .

ahhhh~ but what's wishing and hoping going to do ? in the end , ryuumonster's screwed >< lool . i'm such a mess . but this'll all go away soon . i'll find a way , sooner or later <3 because , clearly . i can't keep up with all of this without doing something about it . i know me , and i'll find a way soon (: just keep on keeping on~ <3